So, where is we at?

Every once in a while, I like to recap what's going on. Boring reading, I know, but since a number of family, friends, etc. read this gathered collection of randomness, they appreciate knowing how things are at Das Olsonhaus...

Sleeping... Using the Ambien for now, and hoping 1) I don't get addicted to it, and 2) that we can figure out what is causing the insomnia...

(Vicki's parents will appreciate that, since we'll be up there this weekend, and they'd rather not have me wandering around the house all night... :-D )

Eating - too much. I've gained back about 14 lbs. Vicki and I are tightening our control, so that we can both get back on track.

Working - Toonz is back in production at HKR, so that makes Cal a busy boy. Other things are in the works at the station, so it's an interesting time. Vicki continues to wrestle with the many-headed beast known as Datatel, and I've recently received my Lifetime Membership card for the Spouses of Datatel Support Group. :-D Just found out that Jeremy Grinnell was elected president of the Group - congrats! :-D

(Just kidding, Denise... please don't hurt me...)

Worshiping - it's nice to be back into the fall schedule at 1st Cov, and to see a pretty full Family Life Center yesterday morning. And it's always an honor and joy to be part of the worship band there.

Creating - been working on learning a music program called Reason. It's an amazing self-contained sequencer and software instrument, and I'm really enjoying using it. Working on a kicked-up version of Pachelbel's Canon in D that is coming along nicely...

(So, to those who might be looking for some funky music for the Strowbridge-Hoekstra wedding in the not-too-distant-future, you might be interested in this... or not. :-D )

Leaving - WHAT? Sorry... as in, leaving for the weekend. We're headed to Newberry this weekend, to spend some time with Mom & Dad W., my AWESOMELY CUTE nieces, and to take Hannah to one of my favorite places on the planet... the Lake Of The Clouds. Should be some nice fall color to be seen, up on God's front porch.

Riding - the trike project continues to limp along. Got a new seat on it, which makes it marginally rideable. Need to fix the seat bracket so it doesn't creep backwards as I'm riding. Need to replace the shifters, which are nigh unto useless. Need to find a bike shop to put them on, since I'm pretty sure if I take the Blue Trike o' Doom back to the fine folks at Freewheeler, they'll start throwing stuff at us and chase us off their property... :-) And, we're still researching a way to change the steering from the funky-fore-aft-useless system presently used.

But, I did ride it around campus a bit Friday. It has some serious potential... after we get the bugs worked out.

Enough. There's enough OlsonInfo to make anybody bored. Have a Monday - I know I will.

Sleepless in GR...

Still having major issues with insomnia... It's 7:40 on Friday morning, and I haven't been to sleep yet. Sheesh... Going to look into the side effects of some of my meds, to see if something has changed that's messing up my sleep. I do have a sleep aid, but really don't like the idea of having to take a sleeping pill every night...

So, off to rest at home I go. :-D

Birthday Greetings

OK - in my own defense, I must say that yesterday was a busy day... so time to put something really important in this blog wasn't abundant. So, I apologize for what should have been said yesterday...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, VICKI!!!!!

Yes, my beloved is a year older, and still as cute as the day we wed. She had a quiet day at home, working on the books and playing Sudoku on the Palm, which has become her new obsession. :-)

The real celebration will come the first weekend of October, when we head to the UP for a few days. Looking forward to spending time at her parent's house, as well as taking our friend Hannah along to see what God's Front Porch is all about.

Oh, and a quick HAPPY BIRTHDAY to our friend Suzie, who shares the same birthday as Vicki. We'll have to catch up and celebrate soon.

Here's one that's on time and even early - HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Tammie, who has her big day on the 22nd. Love you, dearheart!

The greatest show on Earth

Made our annual pilgrimage to the circus Sunday - and, as usual, it was a great time. Yes, I'm a circus nut. Love it. :-) We've been going to Ringling for years now - have the programs to prove it. Not to mention the collection of snow cone mugs. This year I got a horse - that makes it 11 mugs so far.

And, I have to admit, when the ringmaster says, "Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, welcome to Ringling Brothers Barnum & Bailey, The Greatest Show On Earth", I never fail to get a lump in my throat. It's a tradition for us, and so has the sort of significance that traditions tend to have for each of us.

So, I've gotten my circus fix for this fall - saw Cirque in Columbus a week ago, and Ringling a day ago. Every time, I think what it'd be like to run away with the circus. But, reality kicks in on the way home, and I remember that I'm where God intends me to be. And I'm content with that.

But, hey... I still look at my clown wig and shoes, and dream... :-D

He Will Not Let You Fall

It’s not been the greatest week for sleep… two nights this week, I woke up at 3am, and never got back to bed. In to work between 6am and 6:30, and the rest of the day is pretty much tofu. I can carry on for a certain amount of time before I simply can’t function any more, and then it’s time to just cave up at home and rest.

So, why the fractured sleep? Not sure… I do know that when I have internal struggles going on, my already-difficult sleep becomes that much harder. If things go too far from “normal,” my world gets turned around and things get even more fractured.

So, do I immediately turn to the Lord and His word, to regain perspective and to rest in Him?... Wish that was the case, but usually in my muddled mind, I don’t turn to the only One who can turn things around. So, dear friends, allow me a little meditation here on some words I should have been reading a couple days ago…

Psalm 121 – A song of ascents

I lift up my eyes to the hills — where does my help come from?

My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth.

He will not let your foot slip — He who watches over you will not slumber;

indeed, He who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep.

The LORD watches over you — the LORD is your shade at your right hand;

the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night.

The LORD will keep you from all harm— He will watch over your life;

the LORD will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.

And, as I was putting these words into this post, Psalm 121 (He Will Not Let You Fall) “randomly” started playing on my iPod. Can God use an iPod to get His point across?... I think so.

Father God, help me to turn my eyes away from myself, away from this world, and away from all that would keep my attention away from You. You are my refuge, my hope, my help, my joy, my strength, my life. Help me to remember that.

Amen

Lord Of The Past

"Well I picked up all these pieces,
and I built a strong deception,
and I locked myself inside of it
for my own protection.

And I sit alone inside myself,
and curse my company.
For this thing that has kept me alive for so long
is now killing me..."
- Bob Bennett, "Lord Of The Past"

I mentioned a post or two ago that there was a bit of a revelation that happened to me last week... it was in my counseling session that we ran into something that I had not even realized. And, the meaning of those words from Bob Bennett were finally clear to me...

I had forgotten what a lonely child I was. I never really fit in, never really had many friends (if any), had tough times in school (definitely was the square peg that had no chance of fitting in the round hole of education at that time...), and was a right-brained visually-oriented bewildered child who had teachers with no idea of what to do with me. So, I spent much of my childhood in solitude. Really good for my imagination, which is what makes me the storyteller I am today, but bad for social skills. Not to mention emotional issues. When my counselor asked if being teased and treated differently by the other kids was something that hurt, I answered that sure, it stung, but I had built such effective armor plating that anything they threw at me had no chance of doing damage.

Yup... armor plating. Didn't even realize that I would describe it that way. Always thought of myself as fairly open and accepting... without realizing what kind of defenses I had built over the years...

And, the kicker is, those defensive devices are still in place today. The things I turned to, like food, to compensate for being alone most of the time. The sense of anger that still runs underneath everything to this day from being lonely but never expressing it. Always ready to raise the drawbridge, man the ramparts, and launch the first salvo.

Yet here, in 2005, at 46 years of age, things are very different. I have dear friends, a church family that is amazing, and my beloved Vicki, who is wife and soulmate and best friend all wrapped into one. Through God's grace, I'm not the kid I was back then. I have found my calling at His Kids Radio and a place to serve at our church. God has shown His purpose in many things to build me into who I am today, and who I am becoming in His grace. But the old behaviours, the armor, the defenses - they still are running in auto mode. Always in the background. Ready to respond before I can even think about it.

And so, I'm learning to recognize them. And to remind myself that I simply don't need them anymore. By God's grace and loving kindness, the old is gone - the new has come. It isn't easy. There's a lot to work on. But it's a major step in the right direction...

"For this thing that has kept me alive for so long
is now killing me..."

But, by God's grace, I will live.

Not bad for a Monday...

OK - for the rest of the normal world, today is Tuesday. I realize that... But in the weird Olson world, today is Monday. See, we work Tuesday through Saturday, so really, Monday is our Saturday.

Got it? :-D

Amazing time in Columbus. Vicki finally took the time to understand more about the GPS, which means that I now have some small comprehension of the thing too. :-D Found our way into downtown Toledo (and the White Castle therein). Stayed in Toledo Saturday night, and went to Columbus Sunday.

Cirque was (as usual) wonderful! We didn't realize how good our seats were until we arrived... and were seated 6 rows from the stage. We've never sat that close at a Cirque show, and it was incredible to see it from that perspective.

Only disappointment of the trip? Somehow, we ended up at The Waffle House of The Living Dead in Findlay OH. Sometime, I'll go into a full discourse about it. Not now, tho.

So, off to face the work at hand. Should be a busy Monday. (or Tuesday... :-D )

Outta here for the night

I do intend to catch folks up on how things are going... and will do so next week. But, tonight we drive to Columbus OH (love those gas prices... not.) and tomorrow we're seeing Cirque Du Soleil. We've seen Varekai before a couple years ago, and it's Vicki's favorite Cirque show, so off we go. :-D

Talk to you next week - with some interesting revelations...

WindowWordBlogging

OK – so I’m trying something that normally would be talked about in one of Topher’s blogs… Blogger for Word. It’s a toolbar that lets you create blog posts right within Word, letting you use all the usual tools you’re used to (assuming you’re familiar with Word), and not doing annoying stuff like having a post get dumped because something fouled on the way to being published and you just spent 30 minutes writing your heart into a post and now it’s gone to oblivion…

Not that it’s ever happened to me… :-D

Don’t ask me how well it works – this is the maiden voyage. But I should think there’s some good potential here. I mean, Vicki’s spent all this time trying to beat some semblence of understanding about Word into my thick noggin – hopefully this will show that her efforts weren’t in vain. :-D

That’s all from the blog front for now. Now, let’s see if this puppy works, or if it goes to oblivion. Fare thee well, little post. Go get ‘em, tiger…