Yup. It was birthday time again on Saturday. Turned 46. One step closer to the BIG 5-Oh. But, as I think about approaching 50, I have to admit my response is "Fifty-schmifty. Big deal."
A friend at church is just a day after me - mine is May 21, hers the 22nd. The difference is, she turns 32 today, while I'm at 46. And, I wouldn't have imagined that I was that much older than her, or a lot of the people we hang out with at church, especially in the contemporary service.
Vicki reminded me that we tend not to act our age, so we don't seem like a couple crusing through their mid 40's. And, I have to agree. Evidently, I don't have enough experience being middle aged, because I can't seem to act like it. And, working in kid's radio does add to that.
Thanks to Hannah for the balloons on my birthday. I've still got the mylar one back at my desk - the other two were dead by Sunday afternoon when I came into the office. And, thanks to Vicki for the lovely pictures - now we just need the new house to hang them in.
No birthday cake, but I am eating some now, in transition to regular food. Although, since I never went totally off of food, it's really not a biggie. We're just working through everything and seeing where I go from here. I gained 3 pounds this week, which is what I expected because of my legs. Sleep is a little better, and Dr. Osborne gave me an Rx for sleeping pills - just enough to hopefully shut down my brain when I'm having one of those nights, but not enough to like knock me out and mess with my breathing.
Not much else to say. I got married when I was 23. Now, I'm twice that. So, I'm almost at that point where I'll have been married to Vicki longer than I was single without her. Woo hoo :-)
Random Fluffy Foto!
Writing in bed, and Beka editing by ear. Really. The ear typed some letters. Really.
Sunday, May 22, 2005
Tuesday, May 17, 2005
The high price of being me...
Next time you see Vicki, give her a hug for me. It's not easy being married to the Captain, so she deserves all the "attaboy"s that you can give. :-) For example...
This weekend was one of those rollercoaster weekends for my sleep schedule. I think most of you are aware by now that I have sleep apnea (Severe Obstructive Sleep Apnea, the docs call it), which means I use a CPAP machine to aid my breathing each night. In other words, I'm a hosehead (which is how we describe ourselves). "Up your nose with a rubber hose" comes close to it, although it's more like "over your nose with a silicon hose... and mask."
So, Friday night I was up all night, into Saturday. Saturday night, I got 7 hours into Sunday morning. Sunday night into Monday, no sleep. And, Monday night into Tuesday, 4 hours. Normally, (can I even use that word in this context???) I can handle one night of no sleep, but having two of them that close together has really zapped me. So, I hear you ask, can't you just take a nap? Nope - wish I could. Taking a nap moves me further away from getting back to a regular sleep schedule.
See, at least for me, my body tends to store up extra sleep. So, even when I've gotten 10 or 11 hours, I'm still a bit tired because all I did was recharge the sleep batteries - didn't actually create a surplus. 2 or 3 nights of 9 or 10 hours would create a surplus, but that never happens. My usual pattern is get a long night, then a lot of short ones in a row, then a long one, and so on. And, right now, the batteries are nigh unto dead, so I've got no reserves to compensate.
The other down side is what being awake all night does to my legs. The excess fluid starts to pool in my legs, and without a long night of sleep (not just sitting with my legs elevated, but actually sleeping), they don't get a chance to get rid of it. So, my legs are pretty big right now. Unless something changes, I'll probably have a gain at the weigh-in this week. The excess fluid adds a lot to the scale...
Why this long, L-O-N-G missive? Well, first, to make sure that Vicki gets a lot of hugs - she rides through these things with me, never complaining when I'm restless at 5 in the morning, but always wanting to do whatever she can to aid me. And, to give you a little glimpse into another's world, so that you might see God's goodness in your own life.
Do I see it in mine? Oh yes!!! Even with all this, I see His grace, His mercy, His ever-present care. If you're really curious, chat with me sometime and I'll tell you about it - it's just too long to add to this already-massive post. After all, telling each other our stories of Him and how He moves in our lives in so many ways is what we're supposed to do - to cheer each other on as part of the great cloud of witnesses from Hebrews 12 and to encourage each other to press on in the race. Be encouraged, dearhearts - He is there, and He cares for you!
As for the title of this post, sometimes I'll be doing something and just sigh when things are weighing me down. Vicki will ask what's wrong, and I'll often respond, "It's just the high price of being me..." :-)
This weekend was one of those rollercoaster weekends for my sleep schedule. I think most of you are aware by now that I have sleep apnea (Severe Obstructive Sleep Apnea, the docs call it), which means I use a CPAP machine to aid my breathing each night. In other words, I'm a hosehead (which is how we describe ourselves). "Up your nose with a rubber hose" comes close to it, although it's more like "over your nose with a silicon hose... and mask."
So, Friday night I was up all night, into Saturday. Saturday night, I got 7 hours into Sunday morning. Sunday night into Monday, no sleep. And, Monday night into Tuesday, 4 hours. Normally, (can I even use that word in this context???) I can handle one night of no sleep, but having two of them that close together has really zapped me. So, I hear you ask, can't you just take a nap? Nope - wish I could. Taking a nap moves me further away from getting back to a regular sleep schedule.
See, at least for me, my body tends to store up extra sleep. So, even when I've gotten 10 or 11 hours, I'm still a bit tired because all I did was recharge the sleep batteries - didn't actually create a surplus. 2 or 3 nights of 9 or 10 hours would create a surplus, but that never happens. My usual pattern is get a long night, then a lot of short ones in a row, then a long one, and so on. And, right now, the batteries are nigh unto dead, so I've got no reserves to compensate.
The other down side is what being awake all night does to my legs. The excess fluid starts to pool in my legs, and without a long night of sleep (not just sitting with my legs elevated, but actually sleeping), they don't get a chance to get rid of it. So, my legs are pretty big right now. Unless something changes, I'll probably have a gain at the weigh-in this week. The excess fluid adds a lot to the scale...
Why this long, L-O-N-G missive? Well, first, to make sure that Vicki gets a lot of hugs - she rides through these things with me, never complaining when I'm restless at 5 in the morning, but always wanting to do whatever she can to aid me. And, to give you a little glimpse into another's world, so that you might see God's goodness in your own life.
Do I see it in mine? Oh yes!!! Even with all this, I see His grace, His mercy, His ever-present care. If you're really curious, chat with me sometime and I'll tell you about it - it's just too long to add to this already-massive post. After all, telling each other our stories of Him and how He moves in our lives in so many ways is what we're supposed to do - to cheer each other on as part of the great cloud of witnesses from Hebrews 12 and to encourage each other to press on in the race. Be encouraged, dearhearts - He is there, and He cares for you!
As for the title of this post, sometimes I'll be doing something and just sigh when things are weighing me down. Vicki will ask what's wrong, and I'll often respond, "It's just the high price of being me..." :-)
Thursday, May 12, 2005
What do these stones mean? (weekly weigh-in)
Lost almost a pound this week. (.8) Normally, that would make me really discouraged. But, I'm going to try something different...
In Joshua 4, we have the Israelites crossing the Jordan, and placing 12 stones there as a memorial. The phrase that gets me there is "When the children ask, what do the stones mean?" , and then it goes on from there. Lots of places in the OT, you'll find stones being placed as an altar or memorial - an 'ebenezer' to remind them of something.
So, I need to trace my milestones. I need to see how far of a journey I've made since April 1, 2004. At that time:
- I could not stand for more than a minute or two without my knees giving out
- I was 14 pounds away from 500.
- I was depressed, losing entire hours in a fog, just sitting in my chair staring at the tv.
- I had just started using my wheelchair, but could barely move it without Vicki's help.
- I couldn't dress myself - couldn't reach my feet.
- I was a diabetic.
- Any wound to my left leg would take months to heal, leaving me open to another leg infection.
- Any time we would go to the store, my beloved would have to go in by herself, while I sat in the car, unable to walk. (that was just before the wheelchair)
Now:
- I only use the chair for exercise, or for a long time like in the store, at the mall, etc.
- I only use my cane if it's a "bad knee day" or I'm going to be walking and standing a bit.
- I can dress my own feet.
- My wounds heal normally.
- I'm not a diabetic.
- I get to go places with Vicki.
- I don't have to ask her to wait on me hand and foot, because I CAN get up and do things myself.
- I like who I see in the mirror.
- I can stand up to play my bass at church, not to mention movin' and groovin' a bit. :-)
- I can walk as fast as my wife.
- Many of the negative things I once believed about myself simply aren't true anymore.
- I have hope.
- I have energy left over to serve God, to love others, and to praise Him with all that is within me.
- I can sleep on my side.
- My meds have dropped from 14 pills a day to 6 or so.
- I smile a lot. :-)
- I can stand and play catch with Vicki. Or Ezri. Or both when Ezri snags a ball intended for Vicki...
- I fit in more chairs, but not the Van Andel Arena chairs... yet...
How can I be discouraged, for the One who has brought me this far will surely continue on with me. He will continue to be my strength and my song. So, I'll keep on the path. For as long as it takes, as long as He gives me to carry on.
And, maybe, just maybe someday I'll ride a trike. Maybe even a Windcheetah. :-D
In Joshua 4, we have the Israelites crossing the Jordan, and placing 12 stones there as a memorial. The phrase that gets me there is "When the children ask, what do the stones mean?" , and then it goes on from there. Lots of places in the OT, you'll find stones being placed as an altar or memorial - an 'ebenezer' to remind them of something.
So, I need to trace my milestones. I need to see how far of a journey I've made since April 1, 2004. At that time:
- I could not stand for more than a minute or two without my knees giving out
- I was 14 pounds away from 500.
- I was depressed, losing entire hours in a fog, just sitting in my chair staring at the tv.
- I had just started using my wheelchair, but could barely move it without Vicki's help.
- I couldn't dress myself - couldn't reach my feet.
- I was a diabetic.
- Any wound to my left leg would take months to heal, leaving me open to another leg infection.
- Any time we would go to the store, my beloved would have to go in by herself, while I sat in the car, unable to walk. (that was just before the wheelchair)
Now:
- I only use the chair for exercise, or for a long time like in the store, at the mall, etc.
- I only use my cane if it's a "bad knee day" or I'm going to be walking and standing a bit.
- I can dress my own feet.
- My wounds heal normally.
- I'm not a diabetic.
- I get to go places with Vicki.
- I don't have to ask her to wait on me hand and foot, because I CAN get up and do things myself.
- I like who I see in the mirror.
- I can stand up to play my bass at church, not to mention movin' and groovin' a bit. :-)
- I can walk as fast as my wife.
- Many of the negative things I once believed about myself simply aren't true anymore.
- I have hope.
- I have energy left over to serve God, to love others, and to praise Him with all that is within me.
- I can sleep on my side.
- My meds have dropped from 14 pills a day to 6 or so.
- I smile a lot. :-)
- I can stand and play catch with Vicki. Or Ezri. Or both when Ezri snags a ball intended for Vicki...
- I fit in more chairs, but not the Van Andel Arena chairs... yet...
How can I be discouraged, for the One who has brought me this far will surely continue on with me. He will continue to be my strength and my song. So, I'll keep on the path. For as long as it takes, as long as He gives me to carry on.
And, maybe, just maybe someday I'll ride a trike. Maybe even a Windcheetah. :-D
Final water class... for now...
This morning was our last water aerobics class for the year - I can't believe that 5 weeks have passed already! We found out that our teacher, Joey, will have a class again in the fall. So, we've just got to find some things to do over the summer until then - maybe a few classes at the 'Y' or somewhere else.
What I do know is that I can't go the whole summer without the water exercise. It hasn't done anything for reducing my weight, but what it does is keep me flexible. The value to my legs and knees is well worth the effort. So, we'll find something somewhere to keep going.
Now, off to weigh-in. We'll see how things go, and I'll let you know later. :-)
What I do know is that I can't go the whole summer without the water exercise. It hasn't done anything for reducing my weight, but what it does is keep me flexible. The value to my legs and knees is well worth the effort. So, we'll find something somewhere to keep going.
Now, off to weigh-in. We'll see how things go, and I'll let you know later. :-)
Tuesday, May 10, 2005
A huge milestone for His Kids Radio
This is one of those moments when my old self would have gone trolling for every special snack food in the house...
1 year ago, HKR took over an hour-long kid's music program called Toonz. The show had successfully run for a number of years, and had a loyal following. Well, the folks producing Toonz decided that they couldn't continue to provide the program. We wondered about being allowed to continue Toonz, as a production of His Kids Radio, and the Lord worked it out so that we could.
We aired our first show last June, with a promise of 40 new programs this year to our stations. My dear friend and fellow HKR'er Amanda became the new host of Toonz. And I had the honor to take over the producer role of the show. Which means anywhere from 2 to 5+ hours per program to complete a 1 hour show. At times the albatross around my neck, Toonz is the very best of His Kids Radio, and is one of the most fun and creative things I get to do.
As of 9:31 this evening, we are done with season one! We promised 40 shows, and ended up providing 47 shows to take us through May. We get a couple months off, and then on to season two.
So, rejoice with me, friends! I am both humbled and honored to be the producer of Toonz, and quite proud of what has been done. Proud, in the sense of seeing what great things God has done, and how His hand has been on us the whole time. And, if you're ever interested in checking out Toonz for yourself, go to www.hiskidsradio.net, and click on the link for Toonz. Or, catch me sometime, and I'll slip you a demo CD. Great music, tons of fun, and it all points to the Lord. What more can anyone ask?
Now to take a two month nap before season two!
1 year ago, HKR took over an hour-long kid's music program called Toonz. The show had successfully run for a number of years, and had a loyal following. Well, the folks producing Toonz decided that they couldn't continue to provide the program. We wondered about being allowed to continue Toonz, as a production of His Kids Radio, and the Lord worked it out so that we could.
We aired our first show last June, with a promise of 40 new programs this year to our stations. My dear friend and fellow HKR'er Amanda became the new host of Toonz. And I had the honor to take over the producer role of the show. Which means anywhere from 2 to 5+ hours per program to complete a 1 hour show. At times the albatross around my neck, Toonz is the very best of His Kids Radio, and is one of the most fun and creative things I get to do.
As of 9:31 this evening, we are done with season one! We promised 40 shows, and ended up providing 47 shows to take us through May. We get a couple months off, and then on to season two.
So, rejoice with me, friends! I am both humbled and honored to be the producer of Toonz, and quite proud of what has been done. Proud, in the sense of seeing what great things God has done, and how His hand has been on us the whole time. And, if you're ever interested in checking out Toonz for yourself, go to www.hiskidsradio.net, and click on the link for Toonz. Or, catch me sometime, and I'll slip you a demo CD. Great music, tons of fun, and it all points to the Lord. What more can anyone ask?
Now to take a two month nap before season two!
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