On being an inspiration...

The encouragement I've been recieving during this medical fast has been astonishing - my Facebook peeps have been watching the news of my losses with great anticipation, and lots of rejoicing as the numbers lost go higher and my total weight goes lower. And a number of folks (another number - this one keeps increasing...) have mentioned that my journey is an inspiration to them.

*SCREECH! PLOP! SQUISH!* (that would be the sound of Cal's brain, trying to wrap itself around the concept of being an inspiration to anybody...)

My first reaction? "Me? An inspiration? No no no... This is Mr. Three-Times-Through-A-Fast-And-Still-Wearing-The-Same-Size-As-The-Goodyear-Blimp here. The only things I inspire are feelings of confusion and a vague sense of incipient insanity."

So, after pausing to visualize all the verbal (and some physical) slaps to the head that statement "inspired," let's regroup...

I am frail, weak, and fail so many times that I can't list them all. (Sightblinder* knows them all - every one, and he takes every opportunity to throw them in my face.) After all the times I've tried to do something about my weight, I'm still huge, with so much distance to go that 40 pounds is just a drop in the bucket. An inspiration? You've gotta be kidding me, right? I'm fortunate just to figure out which shoe goes on which foot in the morning...

OK, hold on - I saw a lot of hands being raised into slapping position, and I'd like to avoid another one of those... Those thoughts are the truth, as far as it goes. But there is another truth, one that trumps everything else.

God goes before me. He set my feet on this path once again. He has things for me to learn, opportunities for me to learn to walk with Him and trust Him fully, and stories to tell of His enduring faithfulness and love. If the stories were all about me, well, it'd be slapping time once again. But they're not - the stories about this journey are all about Him and His people having surrounded Vicki and me with so much love and encouragement that Sightblinder is bound, gagged and shoved under the sofa with the killer dust bunnies.

The inspiration in this story? That the Holy One is at work, teaching me to follow without question. That He wants me to grow as His dear son, to learn self-control and perseverance even this late in my life. That anywhere along the path, we can all find grace and mercy and be renewed in Him.

Now THAT'S inspiration. And that's my story - and I'm stickin' to it. Amen and amen. :-D

*Sightblinder is a name used in Robert Jordan's Wheel Of Time books, refering to The Dark One. I find it a fitting name for the one who wants to blind my eyes to everything my Father would have me see...