Trying something new...

I’m NOT a writer. I want that out there right at the outset.

And yet, little hints along the path keep indicating that writing is in my future. I don’t intend to take this gracefully. I’m going to fight it kicking and screaming. I’m a storyteller, NOT a writer. My mom was the writer, not me. I’m not smart enough, don’t possess the grammar skills or gift of putting thought to paper. I don’t have profound things to say. I’m not a Jeremy Grinnell, who has a brainpan the size of Kansas (with various other states thrown in for good measure) and has profound things to say, nor am I a Barrie Campbell, who God has gifted in the ability to bring His words to the written page. I’m just a storyteller. Of other people’s stories, I might add. I take their words and interpret them and bring them to folks via the spoken word.

I’m NOT a writer. There.

So why does God keep hammering at me about the whole writing thing? He surely knows by now that I’m not a writer. After all, He installed my operating system, and knows what modules He included in it:

He knows that the Storyteller module is in place, maybe missing some crucial updates, but still a valid version. The Musician module is there, although He forgot the manual to make it clear which way to point the thing, so I’ve ended up with a lot of firepower, but missing a good targeting system. It needs focus.

Jewelry Maker is there, missing some of the basic pieces of code that brings refinement and finesse to what is made, but it’s still there. At least it produces something that can vaguely be called jewelry, if one squints and doesn’t look to hard at the details.

Sound Designer and Audio Editor are on the list, but Sound Designer is a fairly new addition, and has a lot of revision to go before it can really be called a fully functional module. Audio Editor is high on enthusiasm, but lacks Technical Ability 7.0, so it works just well enough to do something with, but the results often trigger a system crash (usually from Perfectionist 49.10 - the oldest and most annoying module in the system). And reading any support materials for Audio Editor doesn’t help, since the Visual Learner module overrides the Read The Friggin’ Manual module, and makes most written documentation useless.

And there are huge glitches in the Common Sense sub-routines, the Focus and Get Things Done code, and don’t even get me started about the whole Organization, Clean the Dang House, and Tasks and Goals modules. However the Self-Criticism, Impatience, Mood Swings, and Frustration modules are all operating at full force, unfortunately. So is the Memory Recall of All Stupid Things Done and Failures module. Runs like a Swiss... car. (the Movie Quote module is also fine, albeit a little outdated)

But Writer 1.0 ain’t on the list. I’ve checked - click Finder, then Applications, and Writer isn’t there.

Obviously, my system isn’t a Mac. :-D (Just had to say that...) For the record, it isn’t Windows either. I think the processor is left over from an old Commodore 64, or my old Radio Shack laptop. (laptop? More like two laps, and a couple of consenting strangers - it’s one BIG computer...)

So with all this overwhelming evidence, you’d think that God would realize what is obvious to me... I’m not a writer. And, confronted with this undeniable fact, He’d back off, and help me make sense of those things that are already fighting for space in my overloaded hard drive. But no - He keeps making those subtle little hints and suggestions - someone says, “you really should write a book,” or a speaker mentions "continue to create art," and the first thing He pops into your head is “writing, for example.” Did I say subtle? Yeah - lead pipe or huge concrete block dropped from 20 feet subtle.

Sheeesh.

And then I realize that by going on this way, writing this entry, I’m just proving His point. Nice. Thanks, really.

I’m NOT a writer.

I’m NOT. Period.

OK - must walk away from keyboard now. Go mangle some silver wire or mangle some music... anything that doesn’t have words...

(the title of this post refers to a new program I’m trying out - MacJournal - to make it easier to write... Ironic, eh?)